FUCK YOUR EGO

RIP Sir'mone McCaulla & Christopher Gutierrez
RIP Derrion Albert

The two above links are of recent stories that has deeply saddened me. It's a shame that human life is no longer looked at as something precious. Instead everyday I'm hearing of the most senseless crimes. How could a man kill someone in broad daylight and just walk away? How could your emotional tide get so high that you would allow an accidental bump to evolve into a physical altercation? Is it so hard to walk away? As the last post stated, why not use your ego to get you ahead in life. Instead, people are allowing their egos to become malignant tumor. An ego is nothing to die for, everyone has one. Our jail cells are getting more packed and the offenders are getting younger. Fighting gets you no where, it temporarily boosts your ego but its not putting money in your pocket nor towards your college tuition. This YouTube/WorldStar epidemic needs to stop. It is ALL BULLSHIT. These sites encourage all the petty bullshit that's going on in our communities. These are the same sites that host the videos of people getting beat to death yet their memorial and news stories are amongst their 'related videos'. Everyone is so devastated and distraught over what's going on but who's doing something about it?

You look better on Myspace, I like You attitude on FB, and Your Halarious on Twitter

What is going ON that people need to use an internet personality. I feel like everyone is trying to be a graphic designer with all the bejeweled and picnic'd pictures. How will we know when we see you in person when you photoshopped Megan Good's face on your size 14 body? Is it okay, that you have a whole album that looks like a flip book because all you did was move your head a few times and change your hair? I'm on picture 54/79 and you STILL have the same outfit on... who is your photographer ...your stylist? What kills me; CAPTIONS. You have to have that lyric from that song before some one else, or you have to have the most messed up typed captions complimenting yourself on something. There is this person DANIEL*, that has his myspace name tattooed on himself, name-plated jewelery of his myspace name, and this myspace polished swag. If he takes a picture, its for myspace. If you talk to him, its in myspace talk, in fact the one thing he doesn't do, is wear his password on a shirt.

I could be judging him, but when the only thing you do, is tweek your page everyday to fit your mood, or you successful have a pack of myspace haters that you will probably never meet or a billion females trying to own your pictures, it could give you some confidence - but not in the streets.

Myspace should have a catergory, "Break out person of the month". That would go to the person who is undressed the most all of a sudden and has a lot of 'friends' all of a sudden, and is very hip with the myspace talk, all of a sudden.

Facebook is used for self expression. Have you ever noticed that someone had the same sad ass status' for like a week now. Without even asking you know that they're having problems. Facebook is also the newest girlfriend spy kit. DON'T think that you can add that girl you just met at the club the other day, your girl is going to scout her out. && DON't let your girlfriend realize that she has a myspace -its a wrap. Tagging someone was the way to say to the world, "Look, i do cool shit all the time, and here is proof!"

The race between boys and girls to get there accounts noticed, among millions of other is getting out of hand. At one point this social networking sites were for people who knew each other to talk, not to meet a stranger then get kidnapped, raped, marry them, have a child, or any of the extremities that are happening.

++ CONFESS: I'm just noticing that this craze is dying down,BUT to turn into video-chat junkies/whores. Its crazy how the internet changes the way people interact with each other everyday..

SHOUT OUT TO: TOM FROM MYSPACE & THE DEVELOPERS OF FACEBOOK!

In High School You (thought) You was the Man homie.. Fu*k Happen to You?!

Talking with close friends, we talked about what us girls (thought) we wanted in middle school boys. This conversation made me think about someone in particular and wonder, "what happen?, where did they go wrong?". Everyone grew up together basically, so i think it was an even playing field for everyone to get the same opportunities; except for the girls, there weren't enough cute boys. All the 'bangin' boys hung out with each other as if they knew they were the exclusive crew. But i'm going at CHARLES* this post. Charles* was not so attractive in middle school, but because he had the height, that was better than having a personality. Finally we got to high school and thats when CHARLES* and the exclusive crew really started to bloom into some fine young men. Girls started getting cut throat over these males, dying to cuff one of these boys, to go to the football games wearing their number, or just to take pictures and say that, "thats my boo". CHARLES* had this ego, that deceived most girls, that he would be the best they've ever had; he was part of the exclusive crew -he's suppose to be the best someone should have.
Moving along... Its senior year (finally), and most people are trying to go far and get out for college. But i mean, CHARLES didn't seem so interested in the college hype. In fact it seemed like he wasn't going at at, BUT he did; i think. I guess it doesn't matter, because all that ego and energy that CHARLES* wasted into being the showoff-y kind of guy was muted and (hopefully) humbled back his lack of progress since high school.


Why is it that someone with such an ego, wouldn't want to progress? If you have potential, don't you want to use it? What kind of influence should be or shouldn't be in your life in order to become successful? Is there a lifestyle you have to avoid?

++ I CONFESS: that Charles* had Ciara* since... forever. They both don't do anything and its very sad. In high school, Charles was a pretty funny person if you ask me because it was crazy to see how he could basically get what he wanted when Ciara's* leash wasn't so tight. Charles*, you played yourself by following behind others that don't do anything. I mean, i guess the 'hood' is very influential, but i mean HELLO there were definitely better examples right infront of your eyes.

Nut up or Shut up

Show me, don’t tell me. There is nothing more annoying than a man that rambles on and on about how great he is at sex before you’ve even SEEN the goods. I guess that’s the salesman tactic, advertising before I buy it, I get it, but if I want a motorcycle and get a scooter… NO ,I will not be happy. I desire something I can ride (no pun intended) without having to put in all the work, not something I have to put in extra energy to move slower than I can walk myself. Please, spare me the “you’ll never be the same” speech I don’t want to hear it. Women are all unique, the bitch before me may have loved your sex (or pretended; always an option), but that doesn’t mean I will and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re good at it. A lot goes into sex, so kid’s, do your research. And remember boys, false advertisment is a crime!

Is it Wrong to Treat a Dude like a Bitch?

Dudes get offended when i treat them like bitches like if I have sex with them and its whack, I'm out the door no cuddle. This dude tried so hard to have sex with me but he couldn't even get it up when it came down to the action well what was supposed to be action..when i said "Alright fuck it your loss, your just not as ready for me as you thought you were take me home now i don't have anymore time to waist here when i could be elsewhere", he said "NO!!!! Just lay down with me". I'm like "its 10:00 pm I'm not about to lay down i got moves to make." Once i shut him he finally got it up because he wasn't trying to take me home without fuckin so i thought it would've been something spectacular. Yea right, that it was so whack that I had to say "Yo, stop i don't even feel anything I'm really ready to go." (his pee pee was small, came up short). So he tried to go harder but he wasn't cutting it for me so I finally stopped him then he says "Nah u cant leave yet my mom is still up" (SMH) i said "What!!! You think I give a fuck if your mom is still up? Shit so am i and I'm bout to be out, so put your shit on and take me home I'm not the one getting in trouble i am grown ass woman." he replied, "I'm a grown ass man why are you talking to me like that?" No, your not a grown ass man if you were you wouldn't have to worry about your mommy tripping. He then takes me home, and I gave him a hug so he wouldn't feel too bad. The next morning i get a text from him saying "Yo you really know how to make a dude feel bad, you went in on me last night" LMAO What are you talking about? You did that to yourself...

why cant anybody be real?

IN TODAY'S SOCIETY THE NEW REAL IS THE AUTHENTIC FAKE. MOST PEOPLE WOULDN'T KNOW REAL IF IT SLAPPED THEM IN THE FACE, YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE SO USE TO TELLING THE AUTHENTIC LIE WHICH SOUNDS SO REAL TO THEM BECAUSE THEIR SO USE TO LYING AND IT SOOO SOUNDS GOOD THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THE TRUTH ANYMORE. YEA WELL FUCK THAT WHATS SO HARD ABOUT BEING REAL? LIKE THEM GUCCI/LOUIE SHOES UR ROCKING ARE THEY REAL OR FAKE? THAT NEW GUCCI BELT UR WEARING IS THAT REAL OR FAKE? PEOPLE ARE SO USED TO BEING FAKE BECAUSE THEY CANT AFFORD REAL SHIT UR LIFESTYLE IS FAKE BUT YOUR STILL FLOSSING THAT FAKE SHIT GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE...
YOU GOTTA BE REAL WITH YOURSELF BEFORE YOUR REAL WITH ANYBODY ELSE. SO IF YOUR ALWAYS LYING WHAT DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOURSELF AFTER LYING AND BEING SO DAMN FAKE? WHERE DOES IT END? OR DOES IT? I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHY PEOPLE LIE SO MUCH? AND LOOK SO EXPENSIVELY FAKE LOL. PEOPLE LIE IN RELATIONSHIPS, PEOPLE LIE IN FRIENDSHIPS, PEOPLE LIE IN EVERYDAY LIFE SO JUST ANSWER MY QUESTIONS GIVE ME SOME FEEDBACK ABOUT THE COUNTERFEIT PEOPLE YOU'VE COME ACROSS IN LIFE..

Keri Hilson -Turning Me Off -W A Y off.

BRANDON* is 6'5, slightly sloppy football player linebacker build, but cute face. I was definitely, trying to get to know him& the smaller him =) ; he's 6'5! enough said. So of course, we broke bread with some Kush & a movie at his place. I have to admit, i have always been a go-getter if i really want something. So lucky for me, he was a go-getter that really wanted something to. I gave him the green light & everything seemed to be going just right. He was kissing all the right spots, touching the right places, taking his time putting in about 97% of the work and everything seemed to heading in the right direction.. until he put it in? All this sweat from humping and pumping, and all I could do.. was lay there, motionless, jaw dropped not saying a word. It was so hard to keep my mind clear when all i could think was.. is he serious? I rolled my eyes, 13 times, consecutively & he was.. D O N E! I look back ( =] yes look back) & not only is the condom wrapper by my sock, but so is the condom.

OK. young female college student, doing her thing now has a racing thought of where the nearest testing center is. After I used my brain rolodex, i LOST MY MIND. Flushing all of his street medicine.. (as angry as i was, it broke my heart to see such beauty do down the toilet), cracking all of his dutches && demanding BRANDON* tell me why he thought it would be a good idea not to use a condom. This time around, BRANDON* was speechless, and it wasn't for just two minutes.

What I didn't notice is that, he had one on. He just couldn't use the magnum i provided because it probably look like a big toe with a shopping bag over it. I almost felt bad for lashing out & going crazy on his stash. But I Come first and was only looking out for myself; the same way he was in the 2 minutes of pumping and pushing.

BRANDON* to this very minute b e g s for my goods.. still a year later & he will never dream about this again.

++ I CONFESS: that BRANDON* you are, on my call reject list. I miss your calls accidentally/on purpose. Don't feel bad that, you aren't alone on that list, but you by far are the first name on the list. I wish you would stop hitting me up. I've done the Heisman on you so much, i DO need a trophy. Please get a grip or a pump.

I SWEAR i just told you i was Gay?!

Its a crazy world out there! Its even crazier for the women who meet men who just don't get it! Many a nights I do what college students should be doing; nothing. But not this night, i decided i would go out with a friend, that i promised i wouldn't go out with anymore -but hey, it was something to do. We hangout with our friends and decide that we would get some food & basically lurk and creep around in various spots. We managed to get our food but only creep in one spot. Little did we know that we were the one being watched! This young man (AKIL*) pulled in the spot next to us, got out the car to get some of OURS fries, asked for my friends (ABBY*) number, hopped back into his car and dipped!

Before the car pulled completely out of my sight, i saw a boy (AARON*) staring H A R D at me. I was an uncomfortable stare and I was hoping i wouldn't have to chill with them anytime soon to find out what that was about. JUST MY LUCK.

GETTING TO THE POINT!

ABBY* & AKIL* started texting immediately. In conclusion and to my despise, we were going to continue this night (that should have ended after we ate) at AKIL's house, with his friend with the laser eyes, AARON*. We get to the house, and Abby & Akil are all loved up coupled up like they've been dating for years, then go 'talk' in the bedroom. I'm sitting on the far couch hoping that i can simply just fall asleep and call it a night, but NOT the case!
I'm spending 20 minutes at a time, fighting AARON* off from stroking my lips, yes my LIPS, with his finger telling me how soft they are. Countless times did i have to move his hands from where they shouldn't be. Finally, i couldn't take it. I was trying to think of any excuse, any at all to make this moron go away.

"I, uh, am tired, stop" ..fail

"You got a boogie?" ..i don't smoke tobacco

"..Your making me uncomfortable, You penis is too close to... I'M F*CKIN GAY!"

I thought that would work. I swore it would. It only led to more questions. Are you really gay? why didn't you tell me that before? -he's right, i should have worn a name tag... wtf? It didn't do anything but motivate him more to pursue Me. Finally, i told him that was the smallest penis i ever did see, and that if i wasn't 'gay' that certainly wouldn't work.

Thats when he stepped off.

Why do men have to sometimes be brutally talked to for them to get the point? Why is it that, No can't just be enough. I only ask, because there are not enough men, and far too many boys. Gentlemen, simply learn to pick up on all hints, direct & indirect.

++ I CONFESS: that i am not gay && that AARON on any other day would have floated my boat, but persistance isn't always a good quality. He didn't have a small d*ck at all, but that narrow thing hanging out by me all uninvited was not cute.

We either fucked, had sex, or made love

All my life I've been the bragger type. One of those guys who take pride in their sex work like I really believe I'm the best if not top 10 in the us, top 20 in the world lol. Its like no matter how good that pussy is, I just wanna do my thing till I feel that I definitely put in enough work to go down as one of the best shes ever had or well.... maybe depending on the girl and only when I think its necessary lol. I say that because some girls I feel like they're not worth my time or effort, let me explain. Over the years my confidence keeps growing after every sex partner I have, and I feel like I'm so good to the point where I know the difference between a girl I fuck, have sex with, or make love to. The time, and effort level differs because there's a big difference in all 3, some girls I like fucking others we have good sex and others we make love. When you're in the "fuck" category I think its just whatever, a nut, a quickie, maybe I called you because I was bored and instead of beating my meat I rather you do it with your vagina lol is that simple so if I nut in 5 minutes Heyyy Sorry but I got mines, so if you're a "fuck" please don't expect me to put in work I'm sorry I'm in a rush and if you tell me it was weak guess what I DONT CARE seriously I dont. Other girls we have sex, I think when we have sex is more of a mutual agreement to satisfy each others. We take the time out, we will make it the best we can, you provide me with your best game and so will I, is like a friendly competition you make sure I get mines and I will make sure you do as well. And then there is the " making love" category doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be better than sex but I think it always beats the "fuck" due to those emotions that actually make it love. Its definitely more emotions attached to it, so I guess the intensity and excitement level evens it out so maybe it wont be as long as the sex but def more than the fuck. But again you can be a good fuck, an even better sex, and a great love or the other way around. But trust I know in what category you fall under before I put my dick in you so please ladies you have to understand exactly in which category you fall under before you give me that pussy.

I should've faked an Asthma Attack

My first few sexual partners were good, well, what I thought at that time was good. I always listened to my comrades stories of terrible sex and thought to myself that I could never be in that predicament. Every sexual partner I had, we had good sex. But I soon learned that no matter how wet, how turned on, or how hard I got his dick, things can still turn into something unsatisfying. I learned in my high school Health class that when erect, a man's penis is an average of 5 inches. My teacher also preached to us that size doesn't matter. My teacher was a bullshitter, because size does matters! I had a long enough relationship where I never experienced an orgasm because his penis wasn't long enough to even tap my G-spot. Time after time, I faked being turned on, practiced some pretty sexy moans but never faked an orgasm. I refused to because I wanted this to motivate him to improve since he couldn't change his size. But the problem with sticking around with unsatisfying penis is, after a while it made me feel like my sex game is weak. I rarely rode him because I felt...nothing. That put a huge damper being that that is one of my favorite positions. I always wondered if he thought that my sex game was weak. Even though he reassured me that my "pussy is good", all women vagina's are created equally, what separates us is knowing how to use it. I later found out that my suspicions were true, he thought he was putting in all the work and I seldom rode him because I didn't know how to. My big ego wanted to crush his little ego with the truth. But I didn't because I'm sure one day someone else will. My lesson to the guys; don't be so sure of yourself if your not seeing climatic results. And my lesson to the ladies; pass if its trash!